Monthly Archives: November 2013

The Most Annoying People On Facebook 2.0

A while ago I wrote about the types of people who annoy me the most on Facebook– the political ranters, TMI over-sharers, food photographers, etc.  Over a year has gone by since I published that article, and as more people my age get engaged, married and become parents, I have seen some new types of posts that I wish I hadn’t.

I’m really not trying to be mean here.  Please keep in mind that the reason these people made my annoying list is not just because they post stuff like this once in a while- they do it constantly.  I’m sure I don’t really have to explain this, as we all have Facebook and probably know these types well.  The only people who will not get this article or find it mean are the ones that I’m about to talk about!

Third person mommies

Annoying People on Facebook


It’s usually the mothers-not fathers- who do this.  They talk about themselves in third person and refer to themselves as Mommy.  “Mommy is tired.”  “Mommy doesn’t feel well.”

Mommy is so wrapped up in baby that she forgot how to talk to adults.  Mommy needs a night out!

Baby talkers

Annoying People on Facebook- parents


Again mommies- when you’re on Facebook you’re talking to adults. I understand it was a proud moment, and I wouldn’t mind this post if you simply announced that your child used the toilet.  But nobody has said pee pee in the potty to me since before I could read.

The dark, possibly suicidal posters:

When a friend’s little sister’s friend that I haven’t seen since middle school posts something really dark that seems like it could possibly be a cryptic suicide message, it puts me in a weird place.  I mean, what is the proper thing to do?  I don’t want to reach out if they’re just being dramatic and attention-starved, but I’d feel bad if something really happened to them.  We all have one or two of these people on our friends list- do we ask if they’re okay every time they cry out for attention or just let them work it out?

Parents who get crazy with other parents on Facebook

Annoying People on Facebook


I’m not really sure what the rants above even mean due to all the spelling and grammar issues, but I’m pretty sure they’re directed at another parent.  Possibly their baby daddies?  Who knows.  Either way, those poor kids are screwed.

Panic inducers

Annoying People on Facebook


These are the people who believe everything they read in the National Enquirer.  They fill our news feeds with the most outrageous “news” stories that almost always turn out to be a hoax.  These people are the reason why someone threatening to kill Toby the bunny raised $20,000, Kony became a household name, and why we think that people in China are actually making soup out of dead babies.

“Vote for my baby”

Annoying People on Facebook


Babies are cute.  Almost all of them.  But I’m not going to start voting for the infant who I think is the cutest.

Of course every parent thinks that their baby is the cutest of them all.  But why do they have to make it a competition?  Last month Gerber hosted its photo search and my news feed was flooded with parents begging me to vote for their baby. Do they really think their baby is actually going to beat out the other thousands of babies and win?  It’s not like the baby who is the cutest wins- the baby with the parents who spend their entire day doing nothing but voting wins.  Or the baby with the computer programmer father who figures out a way to hack the system.

The gym rats

annoying People on Facebook


Most people my age work out.  I consider going to the gym a regular part of everyday life in order to stay healthy.  It’s right up there with going food shopping, sleeping at night and taking vitamins.  It seems silly to announce on a daily basis that I took my vitamins, so why do people feel the need to announce that they are at the gym every single day?  My guess is that they don’t get enough attention at home, so they must show the world that they’re cool at every chance they get.

Parents who keep asking where the time went.

Annoying Facebook Posts


I’ve noticed that it’s always the same people asking where the time went.  Considering they spend most of their time on Facebook counting time, I’m surprised it doesn’t feel like time goes slooooooow.




WTF Are You Thinking, Snapchat?

Snapchat founders Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged but I’m just a little outraged at the moment and I need to let it out.  Snapchat’s 23-year old co-founder and CEO, Evan Spiegel, gets offered $3 BILLION (with a B!!) in cash from Facebook, and the kid turns it down?  Who do these kids think they are?

I don’t even understand how this kid is eating and paying bills now.  Even with millions of users, Snapchat has yet to make a single dollar of revenue, and it has not shown any clear strategy of how they plan to be profitable.  The company’s founders are also in a controversy over whether they did or did not cheat a friend out of his fair share.

Spiegel’s obviously holding out for a bigger payday, as Snapchat has been getting some serious attention from other investors and potential acquirers, such as Chinese e-commerce company Tencent Holdings.  Tencent supposedly offered to lead an investment that would’ve valued Snapchat at $4 billion, but Spiegel might be waiting for something even bigger than that.  According to anonymous sources, “Evan Spiegel, will not likely consider an acquisition or an investment at least until early next year. … Spiegel is hoping Snapchat’s numbers … will grow enough by then to justify an even larger valuation.”

This isn’t the first time that Facebook has tried to acquire Snapchat.  Last year Facebook reportedly offered Snapchat a $1 billion buyout.  After they were denied, Facebook took a stab at creating its own ephemeral messaging app- anyone remember Poke?  Probably not, as it was a flop.

I certainly respect holding out for what you think you’re worth to a certain extent.  But when Mark Zuckerberg offers you a room full of cash-filled suitcases, you take the money, say thank you and move the fuck on!  Go travel the world, kid.  Buy your parents a nice house.  Start a new project.  What is $4 billion really going to buy you that $3 billion can’t?

Some people say that we shouldn’t be calling Spiegel and the guys at Snapchat crazy for turning down Facebook’s cash offer. A writer at CNN thinks the company was smart to hold out because it has something other social media services don’t: erasable messages.  So what?  Snapchat’s erasable messages are cool today, but next week something else will be the hot new thing. After all, it is the teens and young people who use the app, and we all know how fickle this age group is.  I think it’s a pretty big gamble for Spiegel to wait until next year, especially when this is $3 BILLION (again, with a B!!) at stake.

It might be possible for the guys at Snapchat to get more money from the competition between prospective investors and would-be acquirers, but I don’t think it’s worth the risk of overplaying their hand and crashing and burning.  Either way, it should be an interesting next few months for Snapchat and I can’t wait to see how this all plays out.

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Casey Kurlander, Search marketing Specialist, BMI Elite